Each wedding is beautiful in the way the ceremony is conducted, the words which are used, and the music which is performed. In this blog post, we’ll share what makes a Roman Catholic wedding uniquely lovely in each of these aspects.
Hey, Kathy!
I’m a Methodist and I’ll be attending a Catholic wedding for my friend, Anna, in October.
Could you tell me what makes a Catholic wedding different from a Protestant wedding?
Thanks!
–Caitlyn, Confused in Cannon Beach, Oregon
Hey, Caitlyn!
I’d be happy to! Since I have a minor in Comparative Religion and am the daughter of a Protestant-Catholic parents, I am glad to share what I’ve learned.
First, there are three main branches of Christianity. Until 1054, all Christians were members of one church administered by the Bishop of Rome (called the “pope”) and the Bishop of Constantinople (called the “patriarch”). In 1054, there was a split: Christians were divided into Roman Catholics (primarily is Western Europe) and Greek Orthodox Christians in Greece and the Middle East.
Most of the churches with “Orthodox” in the name—Ukrainian Orthodox, Eastern Orthodox, Russian Orthodox, Syrian Orthodox, Serbian Orthodox—are part of the Greek Orthodox family of churches.
You might be wondering where the Protestants come into the picture. When those seeking to reform the Roman Catholic Church realized that they were not going to accomplish their goals, they were forced to leave the Church and form their own denominations. This is what started the Lutheran Church in Germany and the Anglican (or Episcopalian) Church in England in the early 1500s.
These people who left were called “Protestants” because they protested what they deemed needed to change in the Catholic Church. Methodists, Lutherans, Anglicans, Episcopalians and many others are all Protestants.
Now that we know about the various Christian churches, let’s look at 5 beautiful aspects to Roman Catholic weddings which make the wedding unique:
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You won’t hear, “Who gives this bride to this man?”
In Catholic theology, marriage is a covenant into which the bride and groom are allowed to enter freely. No one’s permission is needed.
That’s why when the groom is walked in by his parents and/or the bride is walked in by hers. all the parents sit down before the couple to be married reaches the altar.
When and why did other Christian churches change this?
1549 to stop couples eloping.
To delve into this, read our LinkedIn Update, “When Did “Giving Away the Bride” Start? 1549!”
Here’s a quick overview: Since no one’s permission was needed for a young couple to marry in the Catholic Church, they could elope. In many cases, this angered their parents.
In 1533, King Henry VIII separated from the Catholic Church to found the Protestant Church of England (the Anglicans). In 1549, his son, King Edward VI, sought to delineate Anglican theology in the Book of Common Prayer. In this new Anglican wedding ceremony, the father gave the bride to the groom—which effectively ended eloping couples being able to marry in the Anglican Church. This verbiage permeated other Christian churches and is why we hear it so often today.
2. You won’t hear pop music during the wedding mass.
While hymns and other religious music might be heard during a Catholic wedding mass, you won’t hear any rock music.
3. You won’t hear, “If anyone knows any reason why these two should not be wed, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”
Before a Catholic wedding, the couple completes at least 6 months of marriage counseling during which any incompatibilities are uncovered and resolved. It’s for this reason that the ugly question does not need to be asked in a Catholic wedding.
In the Catholic and Episcopalian (or Anglican) Churches, there is an additional reason why this question does not need to be asked. In both churches the banns of marriage—an announcement that person A is going to marry person B—are read in church or published in the parish bulletin for three weeks prior to the marriage. This gives anyone time to protest the marriage.
Why was this important?
In the Middle Ages, a pre-contract of marriage or a betrothal was considered as binding as a marriage. When the banns are read, then a person has the opportunity to show that they have a pre-contract of marriage and thus scuttle the upcoming marriage.
Could this bring down a dynasty?
Yes, and it did.
Sometime before 1454, Edward of York entered into a pre-contract of marriage with the beautiful Lady Eleanor Talbot, daughter of the powerful Earl of Shrewsbury.
Bishop Stillington testified,
“…king Edward had been formerly in love with a beautiful young lady and had promised her marriage upon condition that he might lie with her; the lady consented, and, as the bishop affirmed, he married them when nobody was present but they two and himself.”
Since this was not annulled, King Edward was still pre-contracted to Lady Eleanor when he married Elizabeth Woodville in 1454 which made all of his children with her illegitimate and unable to become king after Edward died…which toppled his dynasty.
What happened to Lady Eleanor?
She entered a convent and became a nun.
4. Customized or unique vows aren’t used.
In a Catholic wedding, the vows are part of the church service and don’t change. (OK, there was one change: In the 1970s, the word “obey” was dropped from the vows.)
The rehearsal dinner is the appropriate time if the bride and groom want to present their own vows.
5. You won’t hear, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”
In a Catholic mass, marriage happens after the vows and the couple says, “I do.” No further blessing is needed.
I hope that helps!
Your friend in the wedding business,
Kathy Bazan
The title image and images above are courtesy of Pixabay.com.
Images below are from the Ainsworth House & Gardens wedding gallery.
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