Feeling stressed and overwhelmed while planning your wedding? You are not alone! Use these 9 proven tips for reducing your stress while planning your wedding. You can do this!
Hey, Aunt Kathy!
Dad suggested I reach out on dealing with pre-wedding stress. Some days, I’m excited for my wedding and other days, I feel like I’m slogging through quicksand. How can I deal with this?
–Charly. Overwhelmed in Ocean Beach, California
Hey, Charly!
It’s OK. Every bride–at any time in history at any place in the world–has been in your shoes.
Yes, I hear you.
The stress can seem like a monstrous tsunami barreling towards you but you can surf this thing and survive beautifully.
As your aunt and friend, I’m here to help!
I am on your team.
I was there in the hospital on the day you were born and watched you sleep in your lovely cradle. I will always be your biggest fan.
Your dad, Ian, suggested you reach out to me because I used to write content for a company that helped accountants pass the Certified Public Accountant (CPA) Exam. Since it is harder to pass the CPA Exam than the bar exam for lawyers or medical boards for doctors, I wrote about how to manage stress. Take the tips that make sense to you to relieve or reduce your stress. Here goes!
1. Understand your situation. According to researchers, planning a wedding is one of the most stressful life events—right up there with death of a loved one and loss of a job. If you feel stressed, you are not the only person who has ever been this stressed.
Give yourself permission to take these next steps to relieve your stress. This may entail stepping away from planning for a bit. It will all get done. The burden does not rest on your shoulders alone.
2.Practice self-care. Self-care can be practiced in a few seconds or a longer period of time. Here are a few wa1-60 seconds:
Breathe
Use deep breathing to refresh yourself and release stress Use mindfulness and guided imagery to be present in that moment.
Taking three deep breaths allows you to take a break.
In as little as 30 seconds, you can release as many endorphins (the feel good brain chemicals) by feeling good as you can be exercising.
Play with Play-Doh for 30 seconds.
For a longer play break, sing a song or play air guitar.
Watch a funny cat, dog, otter, or dancing cockatoo video.
To allow your body to reboot and release stress:
March in place for 30-60 seconds.
Wring a towel. Pretend it’s the person who just got up in your grill…😊
Contract your muscles. Release. Shake it out.
Stretch and release that tension!
Longer breaks:
Practice mindfulness, meditation, or prayer to center yourself.
Listen to soothing music.
Schedule time for you. It’s way too easy to put the “need” to pull off the perfect wedding ahead of our needs but don’t do it. Sschedule time to get a massage, a facial, or a reflexology treatment (a stress-relieving massage).
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3. Celebrate your inner child. Let her play! As kids, we found joy in an activity or an art such as swimming or drawing “great works of art” on the driveway with those thick chalk pieces. Whatever made you happy then, could make you happy now and relieve your stress. Taking an adult dance class now or kicking a soccer ball might help you drop kick that stress!
4. Learn the life skill of delegating. Do you know why there is a bridal party? In the Middle Ages, the gal pals were there to protect the bride from someone who wanted to kidnap her. Let your bridal party defend you now from the ugly stress monster by taking on some of the tasks you’ve loaded on your shoulders. Let me give you an example of how:
Back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth and I was pregnant with your cousin, Katie, I was an older mom at 37 which meant there were possible health challenges if I didn’t take care of the two of us. At my five month exam, my blood pressure was extremely high and the doctor warned me that I needed to reduce my stress NOW! I needed to verbalize clearly that I needed help from family and friends—I asked my husband to take our son to weekend events such as basketball team, theater camp, and Cub Scouts. As the Chair for the largest Cub Scout pack in San Diego County, I explained my blood pressure problem and asked the other moms for help planning the annual Blue & Gold Banquet. These women jumped in and helped. Not only was my blood pressure back to normal but we had the best banquet in the pack’s 50 years!
Learning to delegate is a life skill you will use again and again. Break the entire project into smaller segments. Ask each bridesmaid, friend, parent, co-worker, or your groom to be your point of contact with a particular vendor—Sarah is your contact with the florist while Amy is your point of contact for the caterer and Tyler is talking to the photographer. Introduce each person to the vendor. Let the vendor know that this point of contact has been deputized by you to approve changes within a particular latitude. For instance, if the florist tells Sarah that the roses are coming in a slighter deeper shade of peach than what you selected, Sarah can approve that and update you so that you aren’t aghast when you look at your bouquet. On the other hand, if the only roses coming in are purple, Sarah needs to contact you immediately. Delegate. Let your loved ones support you. It’s OK.
5. Involve your team. invite your team—bridesmaids, MOH, parents, friends,–to address envelopes, make centerpieces, and/or make favors. Why carry the burden of doing everything yourself? Wine, cheese, and food are great ways to thank your team!
6. Get enough sleep. The human body has three primary needs: food, water, and sleep. You are not a machine. You need to give yourself permission to sleep 7-9 hours at night and take a nap during the day if needed. If you get the amount of sleep your body needs to regenerate, then your memory will be sharper and your energy equal to the task at hand.
7. Enjoy healthy meals. As mentioned above, you—and everyone else in the world—need food to keep going.
Eat a healthy breakfast.
What they say in computer science, “GIGO” (Garbage In, Garbage Out) applies to the quality of food we feed ourselves. If we eat a diet of convenient drive through food and junk food, we won’t be giving ourselves the quality of fuel we need. On the other hand, eating nutritious food gives us the fuel we need, improves our concentration, and focus. You can combine this with my next point!
8. Set regular dates with your partner. Go out for a nutritious meal on a regular basis. Yes, you can discuss which hummus to serve at the reception but make sure you discuss other stuff too.
9. Exercise! A ten minute walk, a kayak paddle across a mountain lake, or a yoga class releases those happy little endorphins which reduces your stress. Added bonus: You sleep better!
Keep your goal in mind. Why are you getting married? So that you can declare to the world that you have found the person whom you love above all others. That makes all this so totally do-able!
Remember, we, your family and friends, are all on your team—cheering you on and willing to help you in any way we can. Just ask us! We love you with all our hearts and only want the best for you.
Just remember: We are English and Irish which means we are more loyal to you than a pack of unconditionally loving Golden Retrievers and like a pack of German Shepherds, we would take on Godzilla, Maleficent, and Darth Vader all rolled up into one if we felt you needed defending! Hang in there.
You are not alone. You are so greatly loved. You are cherished!
With Love,
Aunt Kathy
Images above are courtesy of Pixabay.com.
The images below are from the Ainsworth House & Gardens wedding gallery.
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