When it comes to weddings, there are more customs and traditions than there are etiquette rules–which is a good thing! Traditions and customs can be modified to fit your wedding! Read on to find out more!
Hey, John!
Brooke and I are getting married at Ainsworth House & Gardens in the Pine Tree venue. That 200 year old Ponderosa Pine is amazing!
OK, here’s my question: Is there a rule that states the groom’s family and friends MUST be on the right side?
Thanks in advance for your answer!
–Tyler, Disconcerted in Tualatin, Oregon
Hey, Tyler!
We love working with you two!
You are going to have an amazing wedding!
The great news is that there is no hard and fast etiquette rule on which side of the aisle the groom’s guests must sit and therefore, if you allowed it, your guests could sit on either side of the aisle.
How could allowing your guests to sit where they please improve your guests’ experience?
1. By allowing the guests to sit where they wish, the guests can select a location where they can clearly see the face of the bride or the groom. When the guests are relegated to their traditional side, what they see is the back of the head of the bride or groom. Not the best guest experience…
2. Allowing guests to sit on either side lets them get closer to the front for a better view. Further, for guests with a hearing challenge, being closer is better.
On one forum, there was a post that one partner had 12 siblings while the other was an only child which meant that one side of the aisle was crammed with guests and the other side was underrepresented. If the guests were allowed to co-mingle, then it wouldn’t have looked so lopsided.
3. Often, a guest is friends with both the bride and the groom. With open seating, the guest doesn’t have to select which side they are on but instead selects the best available seat.
The traditional seating chart (bride’s posse on the left) may have two different origins.
1. In the early Christian church, women sat on one side of the aisle for church services and men sat on the other…even if the two people were married.
It is possible this influenced seating at Christian weddings.
2. As Christie discussed recently in the previous blog post, the groom stood to the right of the bride so that he could draw his sword and defend her during wedding if raiders barged into the church trying to kidnap the bride. His groomsmen and any guests lined up between the groom and the front door of the church as an army to protect the bride and were the young couple’s first line of defense.
If you’re not expecting a raiding party to take your bride, then you are probably pretty safe in letting your guests sit wherever they wish for your wedding ceremony.
I hope that helps!
Your friend in the wedding business,
John Shyne
Title image and most of the wedding photos is from the Ainsworth Wedding Gallery. The third image of the wedding in the Pine Tree Garden is courtesy of Crystal Genes Photography.
All other images above are courtesy of Pixabay.com.
Images below are from the Ainsworth House & Gardens wedding gallery.
