How Much Should I Spend on a Wedding Present?

As a wedding guest, you might be wondering how much you should spend on a wedding gift. We’ve got the answers! Read on and find out more!

Hey, Christie!

I will be a guest at Hannah’s wedding at Ainsworth House & Gardens. I can’t find the “rules” of how much I should spend on a wedding gift. Could you help me? Thanks!

–Serena in Seaside, Oregon

Hey, Serena!

We look forward to welcoming you! We can’t wait!

Since this is a large topic, I’m organizing it as if you are asking me questions and I’m giving you my best answers. OK, here we go!

Back in the day, was there a formula for how much a wedding gift should cost?

Yes. Guests often bought a gift that was equal to the cost of the wedding dinner.

Is there a formula now?

Yes. It’s based on how close a relationship you have with the bride or groom or both. While the national average spent on a gift ranges from $50-$100, there is a more accurate formula.

If you are…	Then you might spend…
A distant relative or co-worker,	$50-$75
A relative or a friend,	$75-$100
A family member or close friend,	$100-$150 or more

There is no maximum (or minimum) on what you should spend. One guideline: Spend what you can comfortably afford and do not overspend.

Should I spend more on the gift if I bring a plus one?

While there is no definite rule, you could spend 1.5-2 times the amounts listed in the chart above if you wish.

Do I have to buy a gift from the couple’s registry?

No. You options are:

1. Buy the couple a gift card to one of the stores on their registry.

2 Join with other guests to buy a more expensive gift on the couple’s registry.

3. Donate to the couple’s favorite charity in their honor. It could be a tax deduction for you!

4. If you know the couple well, then use that knowledge to find the perfect gift. One of our team members was invited to the wedding of two sustainability advocates who were also wine lovers. Our team member bought wine from Clear Creek Vineyard & Winery in Arizona, the first winery to win Sedona’s Sustainability Award. She included a card detailing how this winery adopted a clowder of feral cats to eliminate the vine-damaging varmints, a flock of ducks to eliminate the snails, and used quadrilateral frames so that the grapes enjoyed more sunshine (and less mold). The couple was thrilled to find out about this very cool winery!

Can I use my talents to make a gift for the couple?

Yes! Barbara, an artist, presented a beautiful drawing of the redwood forest glade where the couple married. It was their favorite gift! A career counselor we know gave a wedding present of career counseling and free résumés. With his new résumé and career path, the groom was able to land a much better job!

I’ve been invited to multiple events for this couple—engagement party, bridal shower, and wedding. Is there any formula for how I should allocate my gift budget?

Yes! Use the 20%, 20%, 60% formula—spend 20% of your gift budget on the engagement party gift, 20% for the bridal shower gift, and 60% for the wedding gift.

Instead of a present, could I give cash or send a check?

Yes. Since many couples are getting married later, they may already have all the dishes, silverware, sheets, and towels they need. For that reason, they appreciate money. A few caveats:

1. Send cash via Zelle, PayPal, Venmo, or a similar app rather than putting a wad of money into an envelope.

2. Send your check or a cash gift prior to the wedding. It’s way too easy for an envelope to be misplaced or unopened after the wedding.

3. If you are sending a check, make it out to one of the two people under their current name. A bank may not allow the person to deposit a check if their name is not on the bank account and people may not change their names until weeks after the wedding.

4 Mail or send the couple a note which alerts them that you sent money. This allows them to send you a thank you note…and find which account the moola is hiding in.

If you have any other questions, please reach out to me.

Your friend in the wedding business,

Christie Shyne

Images above are courtesy of Pixabay.com.

Images below are from the Ainsworth House & Gardens wedding gallery.

Hey, Christie!

I will be a guest at Hannah’s wedding at Ainsworth House & Gardens. I can’t find the “rules” of how much I should spend on a wedding gift. Could you help me? Thanks!

–Serena in Seaside, Oregon

Hey, Serena!

We look forward to welcoming you! We can’t wait!

Since this is a large topic, I’m organizing it as if you are asking me questions and I’m giving you my best answers. OK, here we go!

Back in the day, was there a formula for how much a wedding gift should cost?

Yes. Guests often bought a gift that was equal to the cost of the wedding dinner.

Is there a formula now?

Yes. It’s based on how close a relationship you have with the bride or groom or both. While the national average spent on a gift ranges from $50-$100, there is a more accurate formula.

If you are…

Then you might spend…

A distant relative or co-worker,

$50-$75

A relative or a friend,

$75-$100

A family member or close friend,

$100-$150 or more

There is no maximum (or minimum) on what you should spend. One guideline: Spend what you can comfortably afford and do not overspend.

Should I spend more on the gift if I bring a plus one?

While there is no definite rule, you could spend 1.5-2 times the amounts listed in the chart above if you wish.

Do I have to buy a gift from the couple’s registry?

No. You options are:

1. Buy the couple a gift card to one of the stores on their registry.

2 Join with other guests to buy a more expensive gift on the couple’s registry.

3. Donate to the couple’s favorite charity in their honor. It could be a tax deduction for you!

Can I use my talents to make a gift for the couple?

I’ve been invited to multiple events for this couple—engagement party, bridal shower, and wedding. Is there any formula for how I should allocate my gift budget?

Yes! Use the 20%, 20%, 60% formula—spend 20% of your gift budget on the engagement party gift, 20% for the bridal shower gift, and 60% for the wedding gift.

Instead of a present, could I give cash or send a check?

Yes. Since many couples are getting married later, they may already have all the dishes, silverware, sheets, and towels they need. For that reason, they appreciate money. A few caveats:

1. Send cash via Zelle, PayPal, Venmo, or a similar app rather than putting a wad of money into an envelope.

2. Send your check or a cash gift prior to the wedding. It’s way too easy for an envelope to be misplaced or unopened after the wedding.

3. If you are sending a check, make it out to one of the two people under their current name. A bank may not allow the person to deposit a check if their name is not on the bank account and people may not change their names until weeks after the wedding.

4 Mail or send the couple a note which alerts them that you sent money. This allows them to send you a thank you note…and find which account the moola is hiding in.

If you have any other questions, please reach out to me.

Your friend in the wedding business,

Christie Shyne

Images above are courtesy of Pixabay.com.

Images below are from the Ainsworth House & Gardens wedding gallery.

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