Whether you are eloping or having a wedding with 1,000 guests, most brides and grooms feel stressed during the wedding planning. Here are our tried and true tips for reducing pre-wedding stress!
Hey, John!
Help! I am so frustrated! As it gets closer to our wedding, my ability to talk with my partner is failing.
I can’t say or do the right thing. I don’t know how our perfect relationship has fallen apart. Please help!!!
–Oliver, Overwhelmed in Orchards, Washington
Hey, Oliver!
Every man who has a romantic partner has walked in your shoes at one time. The good news is that there are proven solutions which I will share.
As a long time married man, I can tell you that there are stressful times during which a married couple does not communicate as well as they could. While planning a wedding—one of the most stressful life events one can survive—communications can break down even faster.
How do you turn this around and survive?
Each of you needs to select an alert word—a word or phrase which you don’t normally use in conversation (such as “pineapple,” “red,” or “crocodile”).
For one couple, her alert word was “kangaroo” and his alert word was “itzy,” a Southern term of endearment.
(He gets points for that!)
While in the bedroom, this is called a “safe word,” in communication, it’s called an “alert word.” Ether person could speak their word to tell their partner that he/she didn’t feel that they were being listened to or that they were being spoken over—and needed the full attention of their partner right NOW.
Often, just the act of actively listening is enough to relieve the other person’s stress so that productive communication can occur. Sit down with your partner. Pick your alert words. Practice this technique. It works!
If your partner is managing the majority of the wedding planning, she might be incredibly stressed.
Goog news! There is a solution!
Encourage her to let her team of bridesmaids, family members, co-workers, and friends help her with this gargantuan task. Ask what tasks you can take on that will shorten her “to do” list.
And ACT—Always Carry Tissues. Often stressed people cry. By having tissues or a handkerchief in your pocket at all times, you can provide a level of calming comfort which will be appreciated by your beloved and thus ;improve the communication between you two.
If you have any additional questions, I am always here to hear you and to help.
Your friend in the wedding business,
John Shyne
Images above are courtesy of Pixabay.com.
The images below are from the Ainsworth House & Gardens wedding gallery.
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