Are There Any Outdated Etiquette Rules for My Reception That I Can Ignore? Yes!

December 26, 2024

Rules often change. Decades ago, you didn’t have to wear a seat belt or put a child into a child seat. Rules in etiquette change too. Find out which rules you no longer have to follow for your wedding reception.

wedding cake decorated with lavender and white flowers

Hey, Christie!
Are there any outdated etiquette rules for my reception which I can ignore?
If so, are there any creative alternatives?
Thanks!
–Cassidy, Confused in Clackamas, Oregon

Red letters

Hey, Cassidy!
Those are great questions! At Ainsworth House & Gardens, an award-winning wedding venue in Metro Portland, we get questions about what needs to be included in a wedding and what is an option. The only legal requirement is that you and your partner say, “I do” (or similar words) after making promises to each other. Other than that, there are no rules.

However, this doesn’t stop mothers and grandmothers from insisting that there must be a receiving line or you must have a cake. Read on to learn more about antiquated etiquette rules and creative alternatives.

1. Outdated rule: There will be a receiving line.
New reality: As weddings have become less formal, the receiving line has disappeared like the extinct dodo bird.

cake pops for a wedding dessert bar

2. Outdated rule: You must have a wedding cake.
New reality: During COVID, the trend was for individual desserts such as cake pops, cookies, or cupcakes. That trend has stayed!
3. Outdated rule: You must have a whole ceremony for cutting the cake.
New reality: If there is a cake, the couple might cut it privately (with no cake smashing into the face) or the caterers may cut the cake.

bride tosses her bouquet to single women at Oregon City Wedding Venue

4. Outdated rule: You need to have a bouquet and garter toss.
New reality: No, you don’t. The bride might give her bouquet to her mother.
5. Outdated rule: You need to give wedding favors.
New reality: Your option is to donate to your favorite charity in the name of your guests and announce it on your table menu.
6. Outdated rule: You have to leave for your honeymoon right after the wedding.
New reality: You can schedule your honeymoon for days or months later.

I hope that helps. If you have additional questions, reach out to me. I’m happy to help you!
Your friend in the wedding business,
Christie Shyne

The images above are  courtesy of Pixabay.com.
The images below are courtesy of the Ainsworth House & Gardens Wedding Gallery.
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