Depending on the year the wedding occurred, the bride and groom could be seated at any one of several locations throughout the reception hall. Read on to find out where!
Hey, John!
Jordyn and I are helping our friends plan their wedding next year at Ainsworth House & Gardens.
As the best man—and a married guy– I get asked questions like “Where do the bride and groom sit at the reception?”
At my wedding, we sat at a one-sided head table while at Anna and Austin’s wedding, people sat on both sides of the head table.
At Andrew and Kayla’s wedding, they sat by themselves at a reclaimed wood, custom-made table by Adam Johnson from The Oregon Table Company.
Another couple we know sat at a regular, round table with their guests.
Are there options?
Thanks!
–Andrew, Unsettled in Seattle
Hey, Andrew!
Great question! While in the past, the tradition of where the newlyweds sat was fairly rigid—they sat at the one-sided head table—now, there are options.
Let’s start with that one-sided head table which was perpendicular to the long tables set for the guests.
While the bride and groom always sat at the head table, who else sat with them depended on which of three typical seating arrangements was chosen.
1. According to Emily Post, the organizer of etiquette rules, the seating was boy-girl. From the left to the right, those who sat at the high table were a groomsman, a bridesmaid, the best man, the bride, the groom, the maid/matron of honor, a groomsman, and a bridesmaid.
2. The other seating pattern common for a one-sided table was that the bride sat on the groom’s right and all her gal pals sat beside her while the groomsmen all sat in a line next to the groom.
3. Their closest family members sat at the head table. In families in which beloved grandparents or great-grandparents attended the wedding, this seating arrangement was more common.
Like the royalty of old, this head table was often elevated a step above the guests’ tables down on the main floor of the reception hall.
Over time, the one-sided head table perpendicular to the other tables in the reception hall was replaced by a long banquet table on which those at the high or head table were seated on both sides of this table. This allowed for more people to party with the bride and groom.
What is a sweetheart table?
Before the 1980s, weddings were often very formal. The newlyweds sat at an elevated head table like royalty. The sweetheart table—a small table for just the bride and groom to eat together—was the antithesis of this one-sided king’s table.
Sometimes, the sweetheart table was custom-made for the couple and they took it home after the wedding. This trend has gone a step further: Adam Johnson of The Oregon Table Company reclaims fallen trees from city parks (with the city’s permission, of course) and turns that wood into beautiful furniture such as sweetheart tables. (The image above is one of Adam’s sweetheart tables.)
Often, he adds an engraved plaque with the names of the couple, the wedding date, and any other info they want so that the table becomes a keepsake.
The latest trend is that the newlyweds sit at a table with their guests instead of being separated from them at the high table.
If you have additional questions, let me know. I’m happy to help…and supply the answers so you look like a genius.
Your friend in the wedding business,
John Shyne
The image of the sweetheart table is courtesy of The Oregon Table Company.
All other images are courtesy of the Ainsworth House & Gardens Wedding Gallery with the first five having been taken by Fritz Photography.
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